How can I put it?

I don't expect people to understand my situation without knowing me. I'm well aware of the fact that my constant blogging of makeup and shopping makes me look like somewhat of a superficial rich bitch, but the truth is that I rarely use makeup. I'm not the kind of girl who has to wear five layers of makeup before leaving the house, but I really enjoy playing with colors, creating what I think of as art. Let's call it an escape from real life? It makes me happy, and I love waiting for the arrival of Mr. Postman. As most of you already know I've been struggling with my health over the past year. I've been drained for energy and makeup has been on the bottom of my to-do list. I've still appreciated the sometimes rapid visits from Mr. Postman and Mr. DHL, and I've enjoyed every little piece I've received even though I haven't been doing my makeup for a long time. Because of my handicap I have quite limited arm strength, so some days it's almost impossible for me to lift my arms into position, and hold them there, while doing my makeup. On days like that I leave my makeup alone, and it's alright. I deal. I still enjoy my makeup addiction, admiring all the little bits and pieces I've collected over the last few years. No, I'm not rich, I just choose to spend whatever money I have left after I've been a responsible adult by paying my bills, on makeup and things that make my day a little brighter. It might be materialistic and superficial, but that's my choice. Over the past year I've really needed these small things to look forward to, to get me through each day, and now that I'm starting to find answers, feeling better, my addiction seems to be slowly fading away. I have been shopping over the last couple of months, and a collective haul post will indeed come, but I've been a lot more sensible about my shopping. I haven't been throwing money around like a maniac, I've researched swatches and quality before buying, I've tried to use coupons and discount codes, and I haven't purchased everything I've wanted - like I used to, uncritically. I've been a fairly good girl, and I'm proud of myself - even though I'm not quite there yet. Yesterday my fiancé (!) built a construction in the bedroom for my vanity mirror, making it a lot easier for me to access to play with my makeup whenever I feel like it, and I love him for that. Now I just hope my energy and inspiration will return slowly, but surely. At least it seems like I'm heading in the right direction.

I'm not writing this post because I feel like I owe anyone any explanations, but seeing that a written medium like a blog lacks both facial expressions and tone of voice when trying to communicate something to my readers, I just wanted to put my thoughts into words, or at least try to. I'm not superficial, and I'm not rich, I just found a way to cope though a whole year of frustrations, hardships and my own personal hell. And materialistic or not, it really did its part in helping me fight through the darkest of days.

Haul: M·A·C Paint Pots

M·A·C hasn't released anything lately that has really captured my attention, I've found their new collections both boring and blah.. in general, but when Posh Paradise came out with eight new Paint Pots even I couldn't resist getting a few of them. I have a kind of ambivalent relationship with Paint Pots. I'm not very big on using bases when I do my makeup (a primer is a must though), and I absolutely hate "Painterly" - a so-called 'Holy Grail' base for many makeup lovers out there.

The other day I looked through my spreadsheet - yes, I have a spreadsheet for my makeup collection - where I counted 10 Paint Pots, plus these three new ones, and I'm embarrassed to confess that most of them remain unused. I think the main reason is that I tend to steer away from time-consuming activities like putting down a base, but I've promised myself to start using these more often. I have a lot of good ones in my collection, and I really don't want to see them go to waste. At least I'm honest, as opposed to in denial.

Idylic · Pure Creation · Imaginary

I wasn't planning on getting anything from Posh Paradise, but since things seldom go as I plan, I ended up choosing "Idyllic" (mid-tone copper bronze), "Pure Creation" (mid-tone frosty blue) and "Imaginary" (blackened navy). These colors are beautiful! Maybe especially "Imaginary", just take a look at these swatches by Jennifae. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided on "Pure Creation" though, but if you have any good ideas on how to use it.. feel free to leave me a comment below!

Did you get anything from M·A·C Posh Paradise?

Photo © Shamini Thevarajah '11