Cerebellum? Scarring?
It's been a while since the last time I wrote anything about my health, but it's been pretty much the same. Some days it's better, some days it's worse, but all-in-all it's at least better than it was when it was really bad. I don't think I shared, but I had a CT scan back in January. The CT scan was originally supposed to be an MRI, but someone along the way decided to change it into a CT scan instead. I wanted to have my head checked because I felt like it needed to be done, but in the hospital I was told that it was way too expensive to do without a suspicion of anything serious. Thankfully my doctor is one of the good doctors, he listened to me and ordered an MRI anyway (the one that turned into a CT scan). So, in late February I got a phone call from my doctor telling me that they had found some scarring on my cerebellum - they couldn't tell what might have caused it, or when it had happened - so he wanted to send me to a neurologist for more exams. In the meanwhile he wanted me to stop taking contraceptives immediately, and start on mild blood thinners to be on the safe side.
Today I went to see the neurologist, and man.. what a feeling. I finally felt like I was being heard when saying that there's something wrong with me! I think that alone is enough to make me feel a little better. I refuse to accept that this is all due to my low lung capacity, like they're trying to convince me of in the hospital. He was really nice, he listened and explained everything thoroughly. Apparently the scarring may very well be caused by a stroke, and I will now be examined as if that's the case. Once again I was nearly emptied for blood - OK, exaggerating a wee bit maybe - and now I'm waiting for an appointment for an MRI, for real this time, and of course the test results. Oddly enough I don't feel scared. If anything I feel relieved.. relieved to be heard, knowing that I'm not being hysterical, and the new hope of this being something that will eventually get better.
I am alive, I promise
Even though I've found the solution to a few of my medical problems, it now seems like I'm having problems spending time in front of my computer. When did that happen? No, seriously, I don't know whether it's my neck, my eyes, my wheelchair, my computer or something completely different, but whatever it is it's making me dizzy and nauseous. So far it seems like it appears as soon as I spend a little time in front of my computer, so today I've spent my day in my electrical wheelchair with my laptop. While I was sitting here testing my theory, I managed to update my blog theme - forgetting all about the customizing I've done, can you believe it? So stupid. Let's just blame the dizziness.
How I've come to the conclusion that my wheelchair, my computer or even both are the source to (at least some of) my problems? Well, the last three days have been wonderful, and I've been away from home, my regular wheelchair and my computer. I haven't been dizzy or nauseous, and I've enjoyed almost four days of feeling almost like my old self again. It's really frustrating to realize that something - which potentially might easy to fix - is wrong, but being unable to do anything about it because I don't know exactly what the problem is.
To look on the bright(er) side of all of this I actually have several posts just waiting to be written, if I could only manage to sit in front of my computer for a longer period of time. I've been on a wonderful two-day cruise to Kiel with Øyvind and two other couples, and it's been sooo good just taking a break from feeling like crap. I'm also planning another piercing, and I'm expecting a visit from both Mr. Postman and Mr. DHL soon - hopefully I'll be able to share everything with you during the following days.
SILENCE.. and nail polish!
I'm so sorry for being silent the last.. has it been 10 days already? The reason for this little vanishing act has partly been a long and very nice visit from my older brother, and then one of my older sisters decided to join us all for a couple of days, and partly because I haven't been feeling all that well. I mean, what else is new? Just to give you a little update on my current health status I've kinda figured out a few things, completely on my own, for instance what's been causing my rapid heart rate, making me feel bad and exhausted in general. Yesterday and today I've been feeling like crap due to a tremendous headache, which feels like an alien is about to sprout from the top of my head. I'm sorry for any images that might have caused you. Anyway, I've tested my theory for a few days now, and my heart rate has kept pretty much normal. Yay me!
It has been really awesome seeing my brother again. I think it's been six years since the last time I saw him. I know, way too long, but that's the way it is when you live at opposite parts of the world. I miss him a lot, he's by far the best big brother out there. We didn't really do anything much because of the bad shape I've been in, but it was nice just hanging around - and we have lots of good laughs while playing cards. My sister needed a bit of a vacation, and seemed to be having a good time while visiting us and our two little rascals. Believe me when I say it was all weird and empty here when they left last Friday.
So today was Valentine's Day. Who cares about Valentine's Day? I certainly don't, so now we have that out of the way. Moving on!
Lucky as I am Mr. Postman came by with a package for me, and that package totally made my day! It contained two O·P·I nail polishes in "Shatter" and "Teenage Dream" from the Katy Perry collaboration. If you want to see how they look, take a peek at this gorgeous manicure by the fabulous Neglelakkmani, who was also kind enough to get me these two beauties. You are such a sweetheart, thank you so much again!
Photo © Shamini Thevarajah '11
Hanging with Fieran and Pinchy
I have really been looking forward to this weekend for more than a month, since Fieran and her man was coming to visit me and Pinchy here in Trondheim. We've been messaging back and forth on Twitter for quite some time now, and social as I am I really enjoy meeting the people behind the nicknames I know so well. Of course my body had to f*ck it up for me, so today I was unable to join them at all. I'm not feeling well, and I had a hard time getting out of bed today. It was kind of sad, as I would love to join them before they had to go back to Oslo, but what can I do?
We were out together yesterday. Our first try was at Choco Boco Nordre where I was unable to participate since their "ramps" were not ramps at all, being hazardous to use with a wheelchair. Oh well. Trondheim is an old city, and I'm used to encountering places I cannot enter because I have wheels. We then went to Bær & Bar at Solsiden, which was completely packed with people, where we sat for a little while before we moved on to our apartment. Finally somewhere calm enough to talk! Later that evening we decided to go to Old Dublin Steak House for dinner - my very favorite restaurant in Trondheim. In the middle of dinner I suddenly started feeling dizzy, and with the dizziness comes the nausea. I was so devastated I almost started crying, but I did my best to stay as long as possible.
Fieran came bearing goods and gifts, and in addition to Oomph and Marvel eyeshadows, Siahi Fluidline from M·A·C Mickey Contractor and two palettes from Inglot Cosmetics, she had also bought me Chanel Ombre Essentielle Soft Touch Eyeshadow in Amethyst as a gift, an absolutely gorgeous purple duo-chrome (check Café Makeup for swatches). Thank you so much, Fieran - a perfect gift for a purple lover like myself. 
It was a real pleasure to finally meet Fieran and her man, to spend time with both my girls, and I hope I'll get the chance to see them again soon. We had a wonderful time yesterday, and I'm so glad our men also seemed to have things in common so they could talk about gadgets, cars and electronics without having to partake in our never-ending rantings about everything beautiful, colorful and limited edition. I'm very grateful for having such wonderful friends and family in my life, it really means the world to me. You make my days so much better when I'm feeling down, and I seriously don't know what I would do without you.
Is that a light I see?
I had a quite nice experience yesterday. I started talking with a relatively new friend of mine (she's in a similar situation to mine), and she wanted to know how I was. I told her honestly that I've been feeling like crap for a long time now, and that it seems like I've developed - I don't know what the correct term is - a depression, anxiety and the panic attack. Turns out she knew exactly what I was talking about, and we spent some time discussing the topic. She showed me a text she'd written a few years ago when she was where I am now, and reading it gave me goosebumps. It was so accurate, so.. me. It could very well had been my text, my words, my thoughts. In some weird way that was a tremendous comfort to me, really understanding that I'm not the only one experiencing this. She had experienced exactly the same. She had the very same thoughts, the very same fears, when she was where I am now. She told me to not be afraid, to keep in mind that I'm not sick, and be open about it.
Suddenly I feel like this is something I can conquer. Maybe not tomorrow, but I will succeed. Now I'm going to focus on the good things in life, take my.. allergy pills, concentrate on breathing correctly, and start planning fun stuff for the year to come. I do have a lot of things to look forward to now, and I'm pretty sure they will help take my mind of the issues which are making me feel down. I feel like life might just be looking up a bit!
Recent Posts
- Last days in London..
- IMATS London 2012
- Haul: IMATS London 2012
- I’m in England!
- Make Up Store Trondheim
- Canon EOS 450D: sick, broken or insane?
- Interior blogging now?
- Haul: Nordstrom, Sephora and NARS
- LOTD: Sugar Plums in the Snow
- What did 2011 bring?
Recent Comments
- Line S commented on Last days in London..
(2 days ago)
Events
- 03/02/12 Make Up Store
- 9 currently online
- 700663 total visitors
The Author
Uncurable shopaholic and makeup addict with an unhealthy love for everything colorful. Medium dark brunette with dark brown eyes. Also known as KinoGodt or Psychedelic Wheels.
» Follow me on Twitter
Categories
- 2002-2005 (204)
- Adjektivkalender (NO) (22)
- Apartment (11)
- Being Shamini (95)
- Critics (9)
- Dreams (2)
- Furry Friends (31)
- Generally Speaking (351)
- Globetrotter (32)
- Happenings (4)
- Hauls (5)
- Heartbeats (64)
- Life as a Student (61)
- Makeup Collection (3)
- Nails (28)
- Nerd (20)
- Party (NO) (23)
- Pastime (22)
- Piercing (6)
- Prosjekt Trondheim (NO) (30)
- Sham Goes Girlie (204)
- Shopaholics Unite (5)
- Shopping (216)
- Skriblerier (NO) (1)
- Tattoo (5)
- Tekster (NO) (8)
- Testing 1-2-3 (23)
- Theo and Cuda (44)
- Video (10)
- Web-thingies (27)
